Feelings
Most boys welcome the pubertal changes they're experiencing. They're happy to display bigger muscles, to show off their height and larger sex organs, if only in the locker room. Parents, too, are pleased to see their boys transform into young men. Our society is kinder to boys than to girls during puberty, and parents are less ambivalent toward changes in their sons than they are to the changes in their daughters.
However, parents don't always do a good job of explaining puberty to their boys or of discussing the physical and emotional changes as they occur. Penis growth and wet dreams are much less discussed than breast growth and menstruation. Mothers tend to do most of the talking with kids about pubertal changes, but mothers don't have personal knowledge about how boys change at puberty. Just as fathers may feel awkward discussing menstruation with their daughters, some mothers find themselves uncomfortable talking about wet dreams with their sons. Both of you should find ways to let your son know how his body will change. He needs to know that he can ask either of you any of the questions that concern him.
Insecurities
Boys who begin puberty later than their peers may find the experience very difficult. Assure your son that a late start has no bearing on how he will eventually develop. Also let him know that once he begins puberty, it may unfold more quickly; he may reach full size and maturity about the same time as his friends, even though they started sooner. Late-maturing boys may develop a poor body image and develop negative self-esteem, since they are usually shorter than their peers. Early maturing boys tend to develop a more positive body image, and both adults and peers may regard them as relaxed and self-confident.
While preparing your son for the physical changes of puberty, prepare him as well for the emotional changes. Boys have mood swings, too, although our society doesn't always acknowledge that. Let him know that he won't always feel such intense emotions. Find ways to show him that you care when he's feeling low. Some kids appreciate a shoulder massage even when they won't let you hug them anymore.
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