Feelings
Much has been written in recent years about girls in early adolescence. Because our society tends to value a very limited and mostly unattainable ideal of female attractiveness, the pubertal changes that turn girls into women can frighten some girls, and they may not welcome the changes at all. Others may find that their self-esteem is shaken, and they may be prone to eating disorders, addictions, depression, even suicide. Parents may find that they need to help their daughters talk through their volatile emotions during this time so that they not only accept the inevitable changes of puberty but also welcome and celebrate them.
A girl and her parents may all have mixed feelings about the beginning of her period. Your daughter will be curious and a little excited about this mysterious new level of physical maturity. At the same time, she may not be happy about the physical discomfort and inconveniences. She may feel irritated or even intensely embarrassed by the necessity of changing pads or tampons regularly and making sure she has everything she needs with her all the time. These feelings may increase if she's an early bloomer whose period starts at age nine or ten, or just earlier than her friends start theirs. Let her know that you understand her feelings.
Family support
A girl's reactions to her first period depend largely on what she learns about it beforehand and on the support she receives from family members. You may feel sad that your child is no longer "a little girl," but your daughter's first period is an important rite of passage. She will likely become more emotionally independent as well as physically mature. Some mothers find they have a strong emotional reaction to their daughter's first period. If, as a teenager, you had difficult menstrual periods yourself, you may worry that your daughter may experience the same discomfort. You should be aware that your own menses history is not any prediction of your daughter's experiences.
Dads may feel unsure about how to relate to their daughters. In some families, menstruation may be a taboo topic between the females and males. But daughters need to know at least that their fathers know about menses, and that they can help. If your daughter wants to tell her mother when her period starts but Mom's not available, Dad needs to be prepared to support his daughter, even to go out and buy pads if she needs them.
Excerpted from Understanding Your Teen: Ages 13 to 19 by Christine Langlois. Copyright 1999 by Telemedia Communications Inc. Excerpted, with permission by Ballantine Books. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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