Next to the loss of a parent through divorce or death, nothing worries a teen like losing the acceptance of his friends. Especially in the early and mid-teen years, when a teen struggles to establish his identity, he worries that his friends will reject the person he's working to become.
Choosing between parents and peers
When a teen begins to develop some independence from his parents and focuses on fitting in with his peers, he nevertheless worries about losing his parents' approval. There's often a big gap between the behaviour, music, clothes, speech, and attitudes that he and his friends express and what you approve of. A teen may be torn between the fear of losing his friends and the fear of his parents' disapproval. Parental resistance to a teen's changing preferences may give rise to tension and conflict. A teen grows as an individual as he develops his own balance between the values of his parents and his peers.
Self-doubt and fears
Teens' self-consciousness about their rapidly changing bodies often extends to self-consciousness in thoughts and feelings. They usually think that people who look at them are criticizing and judging them. When a 13-year-old feels a new sense of privacy, he may become intolerant of his younger brother. A 14-year-old girl who's developing at a slower rate than her peers may worry that she's not normal. A seventeen or 18-year-old may feel intense pressure to make choices about his future when he doesn't feel ready.
