Involvement in cults
In your teenager's quest for identity and beliefs, it's quite possible that he might stumble into a cult. Over the past twenty years, the number of cults in Canada has increased and their influence has strengthened. Some cults are disguised as movements for personal improvement, for maximizing the human potential, for living out an alternative lifestyle, or for expressing the new age that we live in. Don't assume that only weak-minded teens can be lured into a cult. Many of the fatalities of the Solar Temple cult, for example, were professional, middle-class, middle-aged people.
Some teens raised in a secure, trusting environment could be more vulnerable to the pitch from the cult's recruiters. Other teens may be street-smart, more sensitized to hustlers of all kinds, and more wary of smiling strangers. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, in a statement supported by Info-Cult in Montreal, points out that people don't generally seek out a cult -- the cult actively recruits them in high schools, colleges, and universities. Their recruiters look for naive teenagers, individuals in need of friendship, or those in transitional situations, perhaps just starting university. Before your teen heads off to college or university, warn him about on-campus recruitment; suggest he be wary of anyone asking him to sign up for a course, join a group, or participate in an event, especially if that person also offers immediate friendship or free meals.
Another time when your teen may be vulnerable to recruitment is when she's travelling alone. Airports and bus and train stations are popular spots for cult recruitment. Cult members may use a technique known as "love bombing." They contrive a sense of family and belonging around your teen through hugging, touching, and flattery. The RCMP notes the following about the people who usually get recruited:
- They have been deceived and systematically entrapped.
- They don't know the real nature of the organization.
- They were lonely and were attracted by the apparent warmth and sincerity of a recruiter.
When your son first gets involved in what he may describe as a Bible study or philosophy group, he may go out and get his long straggly hair cut. He may meditate, something you've always meant to do. In fact, you may he pleased by his behaviour, at first. Then you notice him becoming increasingly distant. Soon it becomes apparent that he has no money and even his great-grandfather's gold watch, inherited as a family memento, is missing. His conversation seems so bland. Although he used to challenge everything you said, now he seems to lack critical thought.
Ask your teen about his group. If he seems to speak in pat phrases or recite statements that he's learned by heart, you might well worry that his involvement with the group could be harmful. Ask:
- Does the group go by any other name?
- What is expected of members once they join?
- Is the organization considered controversial by anyone? If so, why?
Take responsibility for researching and investigating, but be prepared to find that the group's real beliefs are shrouded in secrecy. If you find that it is a problematic group, talk to your teen about what he does and what he learns and what he values in the group. Listen respectfully and attentively to his answers -- an adversarial position gets you nowhere with a teenager. However, the worst thing you can do is nothing if you're concerned there is a problem. As a parent, you are well within your rights to set limits or to intervene so that you don't give your teen tacit permission to stay in the cult. He may subconsciously want a way out, so express your concerns. Set restrictions on his involvement. If he has been meeting with the group three times a week, ask him to restrict his involvement to one meeting every week. Ask him not to take out formal membership. At the same time, it's extremely important to ensure that your teen knows you're there for him. The key element in freeing a child from a cult is reconnecting him with family members.
You may also want to contact Info-Cult in Montreal. One of the main objectives of this organization is to help families of cult members. Its Resource Centre on Cultic Thinking has the largest library of materials about cults in Canada. It's not open to the public, but it offers a research service for a fee.
