From an adult perspective, sleep is a precious commodity. Usually we don't feel as if we get enough sleep, which is our time to air out our brain, refresh our body, and enjoy the physical sensation of a cozy bed. But to kids, sleep is purely and simply an unwanted interruption in a life full of fun. For some reason, kids never acknowledge the feeling of "tiredness" as meaning "I need sleep." What's more, for many children, sleep represents an unwanted separation from the important people in their lives. Being in bed is too lonely, too boring, and no fun at all!
How do parents make the problem worse?
I hear so many parents complain that they can't get their children to go to sleep. Let's take a close look at this concept. We cannot make a child go to sleep, but we can make him go to bed. There's a big difference between the two. If you even try to control a child's ability to fall asleep, you are losing the battle before you begin. (The only exception is a nursing mother, with a sleepy baby!) Even our children themselves cannot really control when they go to sleep. The most we as parents can do is to make the environment conducive to sleep; sleep will then come on its own.
Parents tend to make matters even worse by their own ambivalence about bedtime rules. When a child asks for "one more kiss," or "one more drink," he usually gets it. When he asks to go potty, he gets help. When he continues to get out of bed, he gets conversation (maybe not great conversation, but contact nonetheless).
It's time that you decide what your own feelings are about bedtime. It's time that you analyze your feelings and needs, and your child's feelings and needs, and determine exactly how you will handle bedtime. I'm going to give you three ideas for solutions. You may feel very good about one, or you may wish to combine some of the points from each one. The most important guideline is that you decide what you are going to do, and then stick with it. Parents usually create their own problems by dancing around and between all the different bedtime methods until they get themselves angry and their kids confused. So, the first step is to decide exactly how you will handle bedtime. The second step is to communicate your rules to your child. The third step is to implement the plan.
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