Ask yourself if this is the right person for you, or whether you may require more emotional depth than that individual is able (or willing) to offer. "If you need control at all times, then the relationship is not likely to be a happy one," she says. "Even those who love and cherish us the most will hurt our feelings or awaken feelings of insecurity from time to time."
3. Give yourself a reality check
The real dating world can be intimidating, so it can feel much safer to make the depictions of relationships in books, romantic comedies and TV programs your benchmarks for couple behaviour. This makes it easy to dismiss potential partners on the basis of them not living up to a fictional standard.
"In my practice, when I meet someone who holds onto the belief of the 'perfect' partner, they are inevitably single, or soon to be so," says Herron. Seeking a blueprint for maintaining a healthy relationship in popular culture means rejecting real-time reality-based love for an ideal that does not exist. "Unless we have a tolerance for human imperfection, we will not be in a relationship -- at least not a happy one -- for long," says Herron. "Perfection is a myth, and a dangerous one to entertain."
Recognizing your own needs and using your self-knowledge to successfully navigate these hurdles will help you discover your best match and the satisfying long-term relationship you deserve.
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