How to build trust in a relationship

Building trust in a relationship can be a difficult task. Check out our expert tips for finding and learning how to trust your partner.

By Karinna Kittles-Karsten

How do you trust someone in an intimate relationship?
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How do you trust someone in an intimate relationship? Most of us have been touched at some point in our lives by the hurt of betrayal or abandonment in an intimate relationship, whether by a parent, lover, friend, wife or husband.

On the cover of tabloids, we see stories every day of people cheating on one another and leaving long-term relationships for someone new. These popular negative messages and familiar experiences can make anyone feel pessimistic about love and become fearful, leaving them to ask if it it truly possible to be in a relationship that could be worthy of their trust.

The answer is yes! Trustworthy relationships do exist and in them, we find both individuals and relationships that are thriving.

How do we find and experience a trusting relationship?
Creating a trustworthy relationship can be accomplished. Relationships expert and love educator Karinna Kittles-Karsten shows you how with a few simple steps.

We can be blinded by love. In a cloud of initial admiration, we can get swept away with just the possibility of love. The intoxication of this experience is powerful, and for the moments we are in it, we can feel like life is at its best. In these moments, we can project all of our dreams onto the person we desire. And whether this individual is able to or not, they become pinned as the highway to our happiness and fulfillment.

Attraction to one or several qualities in another can be immediate; however, it is important to discover what lies beneath the initial appeal.

Trust your own knowledge

Intuition can be one of our greatest allies when seeking an intimate relationship that is worthy of our trust. First intuitions can be correct, but often we forget them quickly. Trust what feels right to you and what doesn't.

Don't be afraid to question your perceptions. You will most often find out that there is validity to your hunches.

Be discerning in the present

Seeing clearly what is right in front of us is an important skill for creating an intimate relationship that we can trust. Many of us have found ourselves falling into that well-intended pitfall of seeing the potential in someone. Our projections of someone can leave us living in the hope of the future and illusions instead of trusting what is present right now.

Figuring out who we can trust can be difficult. For instance, we might be kept from seeing someone's potential (or limitations) as an emotionally committed partner if he or she has a hard time communicating their affection and love to us or can't keep their eyes and hands off other people. Another example would be banking solely on the potential in an individual's worldly success if he or she were not already committed to a path of success in their lives.

People are capable of amazing feats of change, especially when they are committed to self-reflection and growth. However, awareness and discernment of what values, strengths, patterns, pursuits and actions are present within a person in the present moment will more accurately define who that person is and will become.

By taking our rose-colored glasses off and taking a good look at what is right in front of us, we are more capable of gauging a person we can trust.


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