How to build trust in a relationship

Building trust in a relationship can be a difficult task. Check out our expert tips for finding and learning how to trust your partner.

Build a trusting relationship
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Act with integrity

If you seek a trustworthy intimate partner, be the person you wish to be in a relationship with. Speak honestly, keep your word and act with integrity yourself.

It is important to fill ourselves with real nourishment, self-love, exercise, spiritual wisdom and also with healthy foods, thoughts and activities. If we don't, we come to a relationship from a place of emptiness.

Emptiness produces a wanting and a neediness that creates a variety of behaviors that push away what we really want in a loving, trusting and healthy relationship.

For instance, emotional neediness can alienate a potentially wonderful intimate partner and good friend. Physical wanting can turn into provoking the sexual attention of your coworkers, flirting with your friend's partners and having indiscriminate sex. These behaviors are signs of emptiness and a lack of self-love that produces distrust of your character and the opposite of what you really desire.

Take care of yourself so that your inner being is harmonious and integrated.

Overcoming hurt

If you have been hurt by an untrustworthy partner, it is hard to want to trust again or to fully commit to being trustworthy yourself. However, that just creates a pattern of disharmony and distrust in your life.

Even though it may be challenging, create a trustworthy identity through your words and actions that will develop more trust in yourself and draw more trust into your life.

Surround yourself with trustworthy people

Take the time to assess the people in your life and be honest with yourself: Is each friend trustworthy? By analyzing your relationships, you will see how much trust is already in your life and where you need to create more.

Creating a support system of trustworthy people will help you be more discerning and develop a trustworthy, intimate relationship.

Build a trusting relationship

If you are seeking a trusting, loving relationship, you must make decisions more thoughtfully, more wisely, with deeper connectivity to your intuition rather than just with your hormones or mental rationale. Be clear about what is present in a prospective partner and relationship; act with trustworthiness and integrity; and surround yourself with people you can trust.

Developing trust more fully allows us the opportunity to experience feeling safe in loving relationships. Then we can begin to open our hearts, relax our bodies and share our dreams to our greatest ability with a partner truly worthy of our trust.

Karinna Kittles-Karsten is an internationally recognized love educator and keynote speaker on creating high quality LOVE in our personal relationships as well as global connectivity. She is author of the best-selling book, Intimate Wisdom, The Sacred Art of Love, and the creator/host of the popular DVD Sacred Love-Making. For more information visit

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