How to talk to your extroverted partner
If you are an introvert and you would like to have improved communications with the extrovert in your life, here are some suggestions:
• Tell your partner you want to talk. Set a date and time to do so. Make a reminder.
• Practice short, clear sentences. That will make it easier for your extrovert partner to listen to you.
• Don't be afraid to yell or talk loud if you need to. You may feel overstimulated, but sometimes your more extroverted partner won't trust that you mean something unless the volume is up.
• Practice saying anything that pops into your mind. Don't always rehearse.
• Allow pauses. It's okay not to keep up with your extroverted partner's nonstop pace.
• Tell your partner you know it is difficult for him or her, that you take time to make decisions, and that you don't always say what's on your mind.
• Write down your feelings on paper and give it to your partner, if you feel strongly about an issue but have trouble talking about it.
• Don't worry if you get overstimulated during or after a disagreement. It's not a bad thing to have feelings. In any case, they will pass.
• Tell your partner how you feel about him or her. It's easy to forget this. Your partner wants to hear he or she is cared about. So leave notes and e-mails, lavish kisses, and don't forget to give compliments.
Excerpted from The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D. Copyright 2002 by Marti Olsen Laney. Excerpted, with permission by Workman Publishing. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
