Along with goodwill and good cheer, the holiday season is just as likely to bring gaffes and grinchiness. Here are a few of the sticky situations sent in by Canadian Living Magazine readers, and my suggestions for unsticking them.
Who's coming for dinner?
My brother-in-law is bipolar. He has been violent but refuses treatment, so the rest of the family doesn't want him around. Last Christmas, we invited my in-laws, but my mother-in-law insisted that we invite him, too. We didn't want him to ruin yet another Christmas, so we refused. So she didn't come last year. What should we do this year?
The sticky part of this situation is trying to make everyone happy when doing so seems impossible. Sometimes you need to put the needs of your own family ahead of the needs of your extended family, as you and your mother-in-law both did in this case. Your mother-in-law must have felt torn between her children and she probably couldn't bring herself to leave her son alone on Christmas day. A solution here might be timing – can you invite your inlaws and brother-in-law on Boxing Day for a small gathering? Or perhaps meet at a restaurant, so you can leave if things get too difficult. As well, perhaps your brother-in-law would be more controlled in a public place.
Grandma who?
My in-laws hate my husband and me. They have told us so and have not spoken to us directly in the past six months. Now they are demanding that our two boys (aged three and 22 months) spend the entire Christmas vacation with them. We have said no. My family lives two hours away from us, and we alternate Christmas holidays every year; this year happens to be the year that we go to my parents' place in Muskoka, Ont. I feel that our children are too young to be that far away from us for such a long time, and we spent the entire Christmas holiday with my husband's family last year so this year is for my family. Also, to get the two families together for one big happy family Christmas isn't going to work, either, as they can't stand each other.
Page 1 of 3 -- Do grandparents have child visitation rights to thier grandkids? Our ethics expert offers this mom clear advice on page 2
