10 tips for surviving big arguments

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Even the most caring couples can have a big argument that will cause hurt feelings for both people. Rather than going to your own corners to lick your wounds, here are some tips that will help you heal your pain and avoid having another round.

Using these tools will help you to return to your normal behaviour sooner rather than later. Keep in mind that as long as you sustain the life raft of desire to reconnect with your partner, you can weather any storm.

1. Know that all couples argue.
It could be that you're tired or hungry, or that you're not feeling well. Perhaps you had a little too much to drink, or maybe the full moon makes you a little unstable. Whatever the reason, it happens because we're human and anger is a natural human condition.

2. Be patient. Remember that time heals all wounds.
It can take a day or two to regenerate from a big hurt, so be extra careful with your partner, and don't disengage. Use this healing period to understand how each of you will behave better the next time.

3. Don't leave.
Hanging out in separate rooms to cool off for a while is fine. So is taking a walk around the block. But don't leave the house with a packed bag because this sends the message that you are leaving the relationship.

4. Take 100 per cent responsibility.
If both of you own the entire argument, your ability to fix what went wrong has doubled. Working together to heal a relationship rift is the quickest and easiest way to get back on the right path.

5. Don't underestimate the power of apology.
If you hold fast to your righteousness, it may be all that you will have to hold in the end. Being big enough to step up to the plate and admit when you're wrong says a great deal about your character. People who can't say they're sorry will find it difficult to maintain successful long-term relationships.

What's your conflict style? Find out with this quiz from Homemakers!

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