Chat with other readers about your relationship woes in our forums.
6. Be kind.
Having an attitude after a quarrel is simply a covert way of continuing the conflict. Once you've decided to stop, you should treat your partner with extra caring and consideration. (See 50 ways to say I love you by other Canadian Living readers.)
7. Trust that you're loved.
"For better and for worse" are words to live by when things get stormy. Remembering why you fell in love with your partner will reopen your heart.
8. Do something fun.
Go out for a lavish dinner, hit a movie, play with the kids or the animals. Being active with each other will create endorphins in your brain, which will make you feel better.
9. Kiss and make up.
Making love after an argument is not an unpleasant way to reconnect, but sometimes it's awkward. If you agree to leave your troubles at the bedroom door, and turn each other on instead of the TV, make-up love will be unavoidable.
10. Consider counselling.
If big arguments are the norm, or if there is more than 20 per cent discord in your relationship, you should get some professional advice. Sometime couples get into a negative feedback loop, and a good therapist can help you break the negative cycle.
Take our quiz and find out how to make your marriage last.
Excerpted from Emotional Fitness for Couples by Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D. Copyright 2005 by Barton Goldsmith. Excerpted with permission by New Harbinger Publications. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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