20 family traditions

Although traditions are frequently used to define a family, it is often difficult to determine just what is a family tradition. In Judith Lieberman's book, Let's Celebrate: Creating New Family Traditions (Putnam, 1984) she describes tradition as a highly personal behaviour that is often handed down from one generation to the next and firmly anchored in family life by the force of habit. Amy E. Dean adds to this definition in her book, Caring for the Family Soul (Berkley, 1996) by suggesting traditions and rituals need not be complex in order to have a positive impact, but simply focused on a central part of family life.

Although naturally occurring routines and pre-existing activities can make up some of the most powerful family rituals and traditions, new symbolically charged activities and ideas can energize a family. Rituals and traditions serve an array of purposes, so whether your goal is to strengthen ties, bridge generational divides, or to boost spirit and morale, these 20 ideas can help you and your family appreciate the value of tradition.

Strengthen family ties
1. Host a monthly family movie or games night, where each member takes a turn choosing the night's entertainment.

2. Get a yearly family portrait, making sure to incorporate special momentos or significant objects into the photo.

3. Explore your family's ethnic background by cooking recipes, reading books, and learning a language from an ancestral homeland.

4. Arrange a special dinner together once a week where each family member rotates being the guest of honour.

5. Perform a daily family prayer or meditation.

6. Plan special birthday activities for each family member, making sure to celebrate their individual tastes and passions.

7. Go on a family walk every morning or evening.

Bridge generational divides

8. Host a family reunion.

9. Visit relatives regularly.

10. Go on a family road-trip, excursion, or vacation every year.

11. Honour older relatives while celebrating Christmas, Hannukah, or Ramadan by incorporating some of their cherished celebrations into your own.

12. Choose a day each year to go through family photo albums or watch old home videos together.

13. Recruit friends and extended family to regularly volunteer at a soup-kitchen or shelter.

Boost spirit and morale
14. Conduct a New Year's resolution review ceremony.

15. Impart the importance of charity and community involvement by raising money for a cause that is close to your family's heart every year.

16. Schedule a fixed dinner-time every night.

17. Honour momentous events such as graduations, getting a driver's licence, or getting married by planting a tree.

18. Cook Saturday morning pancakes with Dad.

19. Create a secret handshake or password.

20. Take turns sharing the highlights of your day around the dinner-table.

Whatever new tradition or ritual you choose, remember it should always feel natural and meaningful. No matter how well-meaning it may seem, imposing empty or ill-fitting rituals or traditions can be damaging. Decide as a family what works best for you, and remember to relax and have fun. "Choose traditions that satisfy you," writes Lieberman, "not traditions you feel obligated to perform." The best ritual and tradition is often just spending time together.

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