A new father's feelings

Redefining your role with your partner
The primary and universal complaint of new parents is that they are exhausted; the second, that they don't have enough time alone together. There may also be some friction because they aren't in sync sexually. The thought of sex with the woman who recently delivered his child may be off-putting for some men. But other men find they have enhanced feelings for their partners after the miracle birth.

In the former case, the new father has to overcome anxiety about considering the mother of his child as a sexual creature again. In the latter case, a man might feel rejected by a partner who doesn't share his interest in renewing sexual activity. But she is the same woman she was before she became a mother, just busier and more pre-occupied. Whether there's a baby in the next room or not, human beings are sexual people. Recognize that making love may never be as spontaneous as it used to be, and figure out how to make sex a part of your life again. Grab every opportunity for non-intercourse sexual intimacy -- hugging, touching, cuddling. It's normal to delay resuming your previous sexual frequency, but if disinterest persists beyond three months or so, you might seek the advice of a therapist.

Excerpted from Growing with Your Child: Pre-Birth to age 5 by Christine Langlois. Copyright 1998 by Telemedia Communications Inc. Excerpted, with permission by Ballantine Books. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.