• If you don't have time to cook, arrange to have a pizza delivered or pick up some pasta or roast chicken and a couple of salads at the grocery store.
• Phone and ask if you can do some shopping for them when you are going to the mall.
• Offer to sit with a person who can't get out so their caregiver can have a rest or do some of their own Christmas shopping.
• Sometimes there are great financial hardships associated with illness. Find out discreetly if your friend or family member needs help; if so, arrange to pay their electrical, phone or heating bill anonymously.
• Decorate a relative's hospital room with a small wreath, a tiny tree or some colourful drawings from your children.
• For someone who will be in the hospital on Christmas Day, fill a stocking with tiny treats such as hand cream, a word search book, a favourite treat, some hard candies and a small bottle of cologne or aftershave.
• Too often we don't say the things closest to our hearts. Write a Christmas letter saying what you love, admire and cherish about your friend or relative.
• Begin a new tradition or ritual that is meaningful for you such as lighting a special candle in memory of your loved one.
• This may be the year for a Christmas trip if you can afford it. If not, you may want to plan to visit friends or relatives on Christmas Day.
• After an emotional crisis, you'll be tired and need more downtime over the holidays. Choose to do a few things that are really important, and let the others go this year. Skip sending cards or buy your baking if you wish. Give yourself permission to do less.
• You may wish to have Christmas dinner at another family member's, a friend's house, or a restaurant. If you are staying at home, you may want to make small changes such as using a different tablecloth or dishes, changing the time of the meal or serving a buffet rather than a sit-down meal.
• Try hard to do something for someone else this year. Help at a food bank, serve a meal to the homeless or pick out a toy for a needy child. It will help fill the void.
• When a much-loved teaching assistant died in our school district, her friends and colleagues decorated a tree for her teenaged daughter. Each person brought an angel ornament and read aloud a message about her mom as they placed their ornament on the tree. The messages were placed in an album for her daughter to read and re-read later on. The following December a candlelight walk was held in her memory. What a memorable tribute to a special person!
Virginia Brucker is the author of Gifts from the Heart: Simple Ways to Make Your Family's Christmas More Meaningful. Book sales support cancer research. To date, over $98,500 has been raised for the Canadian Cancer Society. A newly revised and expanded edition of Gifts from the Heart is available at bookstores across Canada.
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