Adult bullying: Is it happening to you?

Anti-bullying
In 2004, Quebec became the first province to enact legislation to protect workers from bullying (the law calls the phenomenon “psychological harassment”). More recently, Saskatchewan introduced amendments to its Occupational Health and Safety Act that explicitly prohibit psychological harassment. And cities such as Edmonton, Regina and Mississauga, Ont., have their own anti-bullying policies.

“The bully sees the use of threat, whether it is physical, financial or emotional, as the only way to get ahead,” says Dr. Anthony Ocana, a family physician in Vancouver, who founded HealthSmith Wellness Group to help businesses increase mental health and physical wellness in the workplace.

The bully is often successful in making his target feel isolated and insecure. The individual may lose confidence in her abilities, whether it’s on the job, on the PTA or as a parent participating in one of her child’s sport programs. She may become depressed, suffer from insomnia and even post-traumatic stress disorder and need medical attention, particularly if her livelihood is being threatened.

“In the workplace, people often put up with bullying because they’re afraid they could lose their jobs if they speak up,” says Beth Hedva, a psychologist in Calgary and author of Betrayal, Trust and Forgiveness (Ten Speed, 2001). “It’s a very unhealthy position to be in.”

Many of us assume that a bully picks on people who are weaker; misfits or loners. But, like in childhood, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Kelly is proof of this. Indeed, the Canada Safety Council says adult bullies often choose targets who are capable and dedicated employees, or intelligent and attractive adults whose interpersonal style tends to be nonconfrontational.

On-the-job training
While there are no hard Canadian statistics, experts say adult bullying is pervasive, and the workplace may be spawning it. Having a sense of control is a natural human drive, explains Hedva, but the “North American culture does not see building relationships as the way to go. It’s about one up, one down.”

Downsizing, threats of layoffs and a corporate culture of competitiveness have created unstable work environments where anyone will do anything to keep his or her position.

“When the Wrong Woman Wins: Building Bullies and Perpetuating Patriarch” is a study by American management professors Penelope Brunner and Melinda Costello. The study reports that women openly harass and abuse other women just as much as their male counterparts.

Alarmingly, 84 per cent of those bullied are women, say the authors. Women in higher positions who feel they lack the skills of some of their subordinates may resort to bullying that involves intimidation by forming cliques and gossiping in an effort to exclude women who are seen as threats. But bullying isn’t just in the boardroom.

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