Karyn Gordon, a parent, teen therapist and author, shares her tips on helping parents deal with their kids when things get out of hand. Here's her advice.
Seize the opportunity
The Chinese characters for crisis mean both danger and opportunity. Whether you spin a crisis into an opportunity is up to you. It's ideal if you can use a crisis as an opportunity to help your kids understand their role in the event. If you simply lash out and don't talk with your kids, you'll build a wall between you -- instead, you want to build bridges. Sit down with your teen after something has gone wrong and talk. Why?
• They take ownership of rules they help make.
• They learn the value of speaking up when they are not satisfied with the way things are going, including when they're uncomfortable with their own friends' behaviour. Most of all, your teen needs to learn from the experience and think for herself.
Tips for your teen
While a teen may have had no control over kids coming to the house, for example, she does have control over other things. If parents phone home and ask what's happening, she is responsible for what she answers. If she didn't mention the party, then it's fair to ask, "Why didn't you tell us when we spoke to you that there was a party?"
Where did your sweet child go? Click here for a guide to teen behaviour.
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