It's a Thursday afternoon and classes are done for the day at Applewood Heights Secondary School in Mississauga, Ont. A group of 10 students are sitting around in a classroom kibitzing. No, it's not detention hour; the teens have convened for their twice-monthly Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) meeting with teacher-representative Charlie Pullen.
It's a mixed bag of students – male, female, from grades 9, 10, 11 and 12, some gay, some straight and some who don't declare their sexuality and that's fine. The GSA is not a dating service. "It's intended to be a safe place where students of any sexual orientation can express themselves easily, without fear, and just be themselves," says Pullen. "And that's very important, perhaps more so if you do happen to be gay."
It's why Kevin*, 16, has joined, though he jokes that the free pizza is mighty fine; but truthfully, it’s the safe-place element that appeals to him. "I've not talked about my sexuality with my family, and this is a safe place to be myself and talk about being gay with other students who are supportive," he says. "We also get to talk about diversity and other issues."
He says the meetings and discussions in this setting have given him confidence, which is particularly helpful when he hears antigay slurs in the hallway or cafeteria. Where Kevin lives in the suburbs, there really isn't any other kind of centre where questioning gay youth can go.
Crystal, 17, who's straight, has been part of the GSA in the same school for two years. She joined when her best friend came out to her and Crystal realized she had little understanding of what it meant to be a lesbian or the challenges her friend was facing. "I've come to realize it's important to fight homophobia and nasty stereotypes. I first joined to support my friend, but now I'm active as it helps me understand discrimination of all kinds."
Some GSAs host debates, discussions, group activities, diversity training, and occasionally create anti-homophobia and diversity displays for public spaces in the school.
• For more information on support groups and safe spaces for gay and lesbian students, go to www.gaystraightalliance.org; click on “Canada” from the “Select a Place” menu.
• Talk to your teen about forming a GSA at school: the Alberta Teachers' AssociationGay and Lesbian Educators of British Columbia and the have downloadable guidelines on establishing GSAs. While the running of the GSA is typically up to the students, most school boards require administrator approval and the support of a teacher-representative.
* Pseudonyms have been used to protect privacy of youth.
PFLAG: Family-friendly support
PFLAG Canada maintains 70 chapters and contacts across Canada, from Miramichi, N.B., to Cranbrook, B.C., whose goal is to provide a safe, nonthreatening environment for people of all ages who are grappling with sexual orientation and gender identity issues, either with respect to themselves or someone they love.
"The strength of PFLAG Canada is that the people sitting around the room or answering the phone line totally relate to the confusion, fear, isolation – as well as the hope, joy and relief – you're experiencing because we've all been there," says Cherie MacLeod, executive director of PFLAG Canada.
Some people choose PFLAG Canada as a safe place to start their coming-out process, while others are trying to understand their gay or lesbian child. Some folks come for the discussion groups, and others are simply there to listen to and support you.
• To find the chapter nearest you, visit www.pflagcanada.ca.
• Support for lesbian, gay and bisexual youth, parents and their friends is a phone call away: 1-888-530-6777.
Not sure how to talk to your teens about sex? Read teen sexuality for helpful hints on how to approach your kids.
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