6. Understand family ties
While you may understand and accept all of your own family's eccentricities, it can be difficult to accept the behaviours of your partner's family. "It's normal to be disappointed and annoyed with your own family members, and at the same time to be defensive and angry when your partner criticizes them," says Behar. "Tread carefully," she cautions.
7. Keep an open mind
"Don't expect that you can totally predict your feelings and your partner's based on last year," says Behar. "As time passes, we all go through different stages and considerations. Have an open mind."
8. Have a game plan
Do you or your partner have a tendency to step out of line after one drink too many, for example? "Prepare ahead if you anticipate that alcohol will be a problem," Behar advises. "Talk about it ahead of time and have a plan you're both comfortable with. Omit alcohol if that will help." This goes for other sources of potential tension.
9. Cut corners
"Don't wear yourself and your partner out," says Behar. "Cut corners where you need to, and emphasize some aspects that will make you feel good. If making a special centrepiece makes you feel proud, that's great -- but don't make yourself sick trying to have the whole event look like Martha Stewart's Thanksgiving. She has a large team behind her and you don't." It's OK not to be perfect.
10. Communicate
"After the holiday is over, let each other know how you felt about it in a way that respects family loyalties, allows for differences, and shows appreciation," says Behar.
What are the fundamentals of a great marriage? Read about them here.
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