I upped the ante last summer when my best friend, Tara (who works in health care), asked me if Len, whose mother died of colon cancer at age 56, more than 10 years ago, had gone for a colonoscopy yet. Tara had also lost a parent to colon cancer, and we discussed the importance of early screening for people with a family history of the disease.
I broached the subject with Len while we were driving up to the cottage one Friday night last summer. (The car is a good place to have these conversations with your man; it's tough for him to feign a sudden urge to mow the lawn when he's at the wheel.)
"Hon, does your doctor know about your mom, and has he ever mentioned that you should have a colonoscopy?"
"Yup and nope." (Men can be awfully concise, can't they?)
"What about your brothers – have they been?"
Len shot me an incredulous look. "How the heck would I know? It's not like we get together for a beer and I say, 'Hey, have you had that test where they put the garden hose up your butt?'"
Sigh.
Making it a habit
About six months and a dozen reminders after that car chat, Len did talk to his doctor about colon tests – a conversation that he admits was easier because he had started to go for those regular checkups. (Chalk another one up for the ladies.) Len did the fecal occult blood test, which is commonly recommended in place of a colonoscopy for both men and women under the age of 50 who are at an increased risk of colon cancer but are not showing symptoms of illness. (The result was negative.) It was a relief to both of us to have this taken care of, and to know that Len's healthy.
After talking to family physicians from across Canada about what keeps men from visiting the doctor, I asked Len why he didn't make the effort for so many years. This is a man who gladly puts his daughters’ hair in ponytails and books a medical appointment if their cough lasts more than four days. Could going to the doctor himself be too much of a stretch for his masculine mind?
"For me, it was a combination of denial, being busy with life and not making it a priority," says Len. "I would always tell myself, There's nothing wrong and I'll have to take time out of the workday to call the doctor and then go to the appointment. But once I went, it was no big deal – 15 minutes to make sure your health is OK. I can do that ... but keep reminding me or I may not go."
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