We asked etiquette expert Lew Bayer how she would graciously recover from the most common social gaffes.
1. Congratulating a woman on her pregnancy when she’s not expecting.
Something like… You ask a client when she’s due. She looks at you confused and then annoyed. You realize she’s not pregnant – and never was.
Fast fix: Apologize and acknowledge that your comment was rude. Avoid trying to make good by complimenting her on something else, like “Well, you would make a pretty pregnant lady!”
2. Assuming a relationship between two people.
Something like… A man and a woman arrive at your curling club’s social night. Presuming they’re a couple, you introduce them as such. Turns out they’re cousins.
Fast fix: As soon as you realize your error, apologize, make a joke about how your “cousin” (meaning your significant other) is or isn’t there and properly reintroduce the man and woman.
Something like… You introduce your friend Marcia to your colleague Bill, who quickly corrects you: “Actually, I’m John. Bill works in accounting.”
Fast fix: Apologize and explain that you have difficulty remembering your own name some days.
4. Arriving unprepared for an event.
Something like… You’ve arrived at the shower empty-handed because the invitation read, No gifts, please. Seeing the mountain of presents, maybe you read it wrong.
Fast fix: No need to say or do anything. Enjoy yourself. Congratulate the guest of honour and send something after if you feel you must.
5. Criticizing a lifestyle only to realize the person you’re talking to is a convert.
Something like… You’ve ranted on about the benefits – not! – of acupuncture when the person you’re speaking to reveals he’s a practitioner.
Fast fix: Smile and say, “Hmmm, I guess that’s why smart people keep their opinions to themselves,” and apologize.
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