How to spot a psychopath

Spot the psychopath
In film, a psychopath is easy to spot; he’s the guy with the charming smile, snaky eyes and knife up his sleeve. In real life, psychopaths can really only be diagnosed by professionals. But, say the experts, there are a few clues.
• Pity play: Psychopaths use our sympathy because we blindly believe they deserve it. "Consistently bad or egregiously inadequate behaviour with frequent plays for your pity is as close to a warning mark on a conscienceless person’s forehead as you will ever be given," says Martha Stout, a clinical psychology instructor at Harvard Medical School.

• Manipulative: Emotional puppeteers to the core, psychopaths love to make people jump, "even if it’s not to their benefit," says Stout. "If you’re left wondering why, or thinking there was no sense in what happened, that’s a red flag."
 
• Parasitical: Whether they use charm and manipulation or the pity play to meet their needs, "they prefer living off the work of others rather than their own efforts," says Robert Hare in Vancouver, a world authority on psychopathy.

• Deceitful: Big or little, deception is a tool of the trade. "Their lies are always woven with a thread of truth," warns Hare, "which, if questioned, they indignantly point out in their own defence."

• Charming: Compelling and charismatic, psychopaths are mesmerizing, like predators before the kill.

• Conceited: Psychopaths "think they’re the next step in evolution," says Hare, and they let it show with arrogance, boasting and undermining those around them.

• Not to blame: Not only do they never accept culpability, but psychopaths will also manufacture proof that puts others at fault.

• Reactionary: When it suits them, psychopaths can mask their anger, but will also "overreact in response to perceived personal insults or insufficient demonstration of respect for their authority," explains Hare.

• Risk-taking: Psychopaths never do dull, repetitive work but will lure others into taking financial, social or physical risks with them.

• Power-hungry: Attracted to positions of power, psychopaths are often found lurking in careers as politicians, lawyers, coaches, psychologists, counsellors and high school principals.

If you know a psychopath
You may think your love will cure him. Fuhgeddit. Psychopaths are untreatable. "People have a hard time getting their heads around that," says Donna Anderson, a U.S. journalist who launched www.lovefraud.com to educate the public after her husband defrauded her of $227,000 US.

If you know a psychopath, she says, "put up your guard and get him out of your life." If you are suspicious, trust your instincts and take these steps:
• Check her credentials, university or criminal records, past relationships and work history for inconsistencies.
• Look past the smoke screen. "No matter what, always evaluate a person on what he says and how he behaves rather than the front he puts up," says Robert Hare, a world authority on psychopathy.
• Get a second opinion from friends and family on whose honesty you can rely.
• Don’t cover for her. If she acts in an unprincipled or criminal way, don’t lie to protect her. It will only give her more leverage in your life.

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