How to tame your inner grinch

If it's the thought that counts, what was she thinking?
If most Grinchifying situations make you resentful, this one leaves you feeling guilty: dreading or despairing over a loved one's annual incongruous offering.

"Whenever I start to feel that yuletide feeling leaving me, a good ole dose of Bing Crosby's "White Christmas" is the key to getting me back in the spirit. Or I take a child to a children's party where Santa will make a surprise appearance, to a holiday movie or to a tree lighting ceremony; there are lots of events in every community."
- Andrea Atwood, Dartmouth, N.S.

Grinch busters
• Remember that while in some cases your profuse and heartfelt thanks will be for the gifts themselves, in many others they will be for the giver's thoughtfulness, generosity and love.

• There is no law that says you must keep every gift forever. "Everyone has a cupboard full of gifts that will end up in garage sales or thrift stores," says Virginia.

• Teach your children how to open and acknowledge gifts. "I remember giving our five-year-old niece Christine some knitted mitts and a hat," says Virginia. "I had run out of boxes and tucked them into a cracker box. When she removed the paper, she said, 'Oh goodie, I love this kind of cracker!'"

• If you suspect your own gifts are falling shy of the mark, give a gift that won't last: candles, lovely paper napkins, a fir or cedar wreath, baked goods, gift certificates for movies, home preserves or gourmet coffee or tea.

If it's Tuesday, it must be The Nutcracker
Concerts, recitals, ballets... every child in the world, it seems, is enjoying her 15 minutes of Christmas fame, and your attendance is required at every second. Sorry, Mrs. Santa will brook no dodging -- unless two events are scheduled for the same time. Instead, Virginia reminds you to "reframe" or replace your resentment with positive thoughts to make the event more meaningful and memorable.

Grinch busters
• Take an elderly friend or relative. He'll love the outing, it's flattering to the young performer and you'll enjoy the visit.

• Start a holiday-concert memory book containing snaps of the children involved and family members in attendance, the programs, tickets and words or music to the songs performed. What a great keepsake in years to come!

• Reflect for a moment on the friends and family members you have lost who are not able to be in the audience today. It puts it in perspective.

• Pick up a copy of The Best Christmas Pageant Ever (HarperCollins Canada, 1988) by Barbara Robinson. "You will never ever look at a Christmas concert in the same way," says Virginia. "This year will mark the 26th time I've read it. And each time is as wonderful as the first!"

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