Learning to lean on others

When help is offered
• Assess the following criteria: your need, the spirit in which the help is being offered and the costs or benefits to your relationship with the person offering. Accept or decline the offer based on these considerations.

• If you know that you need the help being offered but are finding it hard to accept it, speak to the person and be open to hearing more about why the offer was made.

• Your willingness to be vulnerable and share your needs can provide an opportunity for greater intimacy within a relationship. This provides mutual benefits for both the giver and the receiver.

When you no longer need help
Sandy Lipkus, a grief specialist in Montreal and founder of ShareGrief.com, a grief support service, explains how to let someone know that her help is no longer needed.

• Be honest.

• Ask for time alone.

• Thank her for her support.

• Assure her you will be in contact if you need more help.

• Follow through with your promise.