Parent-teacher dynamics

Supporting your child
Becoming an advocate for your child means learning to deal with conflict. To help parents improve their conflict resolution skills, the British Columbia Confederation of Parent Advisory Councils put together this guide to effective advocacy.

Listen to your child. Carefully consider her views. Challenge your own attitudes and question your feelings. Can you listen even when you don't like what you hear?

Know the facts. Ask questions in a way that gathers information. Identify the issue. Work to clarify and pinpoint issues. Decide on a key issue even if there are several. Make sure it's also an issue for your child.
Decide if your child needs your support. Self-advocacy is an important life skill. Help your child build communication and conflict-resolution skills.
Document. It's easy to get confused or forget. Jot down notes, record the dates of meetings and phone calls, and keep copies of all correspondence.
Identify appropriate support. Talk over the issue with your spouse or a trusted friend. Seek the assistance of an advocate, if necessary.
Commit to resolution. Don't give up and don't let others discourage you or divert you from representing your child's best interests.
Plan.Think of the effect your plan will have on your child. Be flexible and open-minded.
Communicate. Share your ideas with the people who can make change happen. Work to be assertive, not aggressive. Don't indulge in hearsay.
Stay involved. Confirm action plans and arrange for follow-up. Help define reasonable deadlines for each goal and make sure you and your child are part of the resolution.

Excerpted from Raising Great Kids: Ages 6 to 12 by Christine Langlois. Copyright 1999 by Telemedia Communications Inc. Excerpted, with permission by Ballantine Books. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.