Saying thanks: The art of thank-you cards, emails and gifts

3. The thank-you card or thank-you note
Busy moms know that it can be hard to mail out Thank You cards for kids' birthday gifts, so you're off the hook for kid-to-kid B-Day presents. The loot bag is a Thank You token, anyway. But you or your child should pen a card for gifts from anyone who didn't get a loot bag: grandma, adult friends and so on. Also, while cards aren't essential when gifts are exchanged at Christmas, any gifts you get where there isn't an immediate reciprocal action deserve a Thank You card. Adult birthday gifts, new-home gifts, and, that biggie, wedding gifts, all merit a Thank You card or note. Aim to get them in the mail within two weeks, although you've got an extension of up to one year for wedding gifts – though well-mannered newlyweds should aim for a six-month turnaround. Send a card as thanks for a lovely dinner, ideally within a couple weeks of your visit.
Tip: Attractive cards reflect well on you, as does personal stationery. Invest in one or the other and give your Thanks extra polish.
 
4. Thank-you gifts or flowers
Flowers are always thoughtful. Just don't go over the top or your Thank You gesture may strike the recipient as being grander than the actual favour they paid you, causing some embarrassment. If sending flowers to their workplace, include a vase so they don't have to scrounge around looking for one in the company kitchen. A shorter arrangement will be less likely to get knocked over and will be easier to bring home on public transit.
Tip: As for atypical deliverables like "cookie-o-grams"? Um, unless you are 100% positive that you're dealing with a cookie lover, opt for a more sophisticated gourmet basket with bottle of wine or mineral water.
 
5. Donation
If a material thank-you gift could be construed as inappropriate in any way, say, for a local politician, client or boss, or you know your intended is an earnest this-money-could-be-put-to-better-use type soul, consider making a donation instead. Some charities can provide you with a card notifying your recipient that a donation was made in their honour. Otherwise, a simple Thank You card mentioning you were moved by their help, and wanted to pass along your own good fortune, is perfect.
Tip: Choose a charitable organization that's non-controversial and has a proven track record of low-overhead and admin costs. The United Way, for instance. They allow you to specify where to send your funds, too, meaning if your honoree is a book lover you can dedicate it to literacy programs, or if they love kids, it can be directed towards after school programs, and so on.
 
Read more: E-mail etiquette tips

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