Sticky situations: Neighbours and guests

I share a walkway with my neighbour, who moved in last winter. After a snowfall, my previous neighbour and I shared the shovelling of the walkway. This new neighbour hasn't caught on yet, even though I have shovelled her half a few times. Should I point it out?

What could she be thinking? There are many possible reasons your neighbour hasn't done what you perceive to be her "fair share": she may have a heart condition or a bad back, she may come from a country where there is no snow or maybe she has always lived in an apartment where this task was taken care of by others. More simply, you may be jumping the gun. If you always rush out and do the job when the first few flakes drift down, you aren't giving her the chance to share the load.

Our expectations of neighbours are largely unspoken. We expect people to take hints from our own actions, but this is often ineffective -- your neighbour can't read minds. She may assume you are a Good Samaritan and this is one of your good deeds. A direct approach tinged with kindness is usually all that's needed. Next time you find yourself swinging the shovel alone, knock on the neighbour's door as soon as you're done and simply say: "Hi, Sarah. Would you mind shovelling the walk half the time? That's the arrangement I had with the Smiths, who lived here before you. And, by the way, would you like to join me for a hot chocolate?"
-- Catherine Gray, ethicist and editor of Canadianliving.com