5. Connection to extended family
Will Christmas Eve be spent with your family and Christmas Day with his? While these little details might not seem important now, they can become an enormous source of conflict with extended families if not everyone feels like they're getting their fair share of your time. "How much devotion you have to your extended family may cause conflict in the future, if you haven't accepted the importance of your partner's connection with his family, or he yours," cautions Bev. "It's best to assume that families are demanding and peculiar, and learn how to manage them."
6. Careers
"Career paths often change over time, so you want to know that your partner is going to respect your need to make decisions about yours with his input and respect, and expect your input on his," says Bev. "Look for a flexible, sharing and respectful attitude."
7. Sex
Sex shouldn't be a topic that you can't discuss freely and frankly with your spouse. Be open, honest and always ready to communicate on this subject. "Watch for a respectful, sharing and flexible attitude about sex," Bev says. "Make sure the two of you can talk about sex comfortably, because sex that's never talked about can easily become unsatisfying and unsuited to one or both of you."
8. Finances
Is one of you a spender and the other a saver? Money troubles plague many couples and it's important to discuss this aspect of your relationship before it spins out of control. Agree on budgets and debt-reduction schedules that suit both of your needs.
9. Time together and apart
Do you envision yourself spending Saturday nights snuggling with your honey on the couch, watching movies and enjoying quality time together? Your partner may have a different idea about how to spend Saturday nights. Discuss these things and don't fall into the trap of making assumptions about your partner's preferences. This can lead to unnecessary disappointment.
10. Alcohol, drugs and gambling
Last but definitely not least: addiction. By the time you decide to spend your life with your partner, it's likely you're well aware of his or her proclivity for certain things. If any of these things is an addiction or has the potential to become one, discuss how you're going to handle this as a couple. Discuss whether one or both of you should attend counselling and be sure that this is something you agree you can tackle together.
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