3 keys to office romance

Check your employee handbook
When you come out as a couple, people will treat you differently and a lot of people will view your relationship as a threat. Be smart about it. Before someone else can, confess all to your boss. And if your new kissing-partner is your boss, or you are his, make sure you are well-versed in your company's policy on issues of the heart -- you might well be in trouble for your out-of-office canoodling.

When promotions and anniversaries and breakups and firings become tangled together, be very sure that nothing that can be considered inappropriate takes place during work hours. Victoria learned this lesson the hard way when she realized her flirtations with the boss had disguised the fact that she was being denied a well-deserved promotion. "I'd stay at the office until eight or nine at night, doing the mountains of work he'd assigned to me," she says. "When I'd complain or ask for an assistant, he'd switch gears to flirt mode, and I'd be distracted -- again." Realizing that her crush wasn't going away -- and neither was her workload -- Victoria switched departments, was quickly promoted and decided not to date her former boss.

Lesson: There's a lot more to consider than compatibility in an office affair. When you're sizing up a co-employee's romantic potential, ask yourself if you're ready to face the consequences and complications.

Give each other space
Starting a relationship with someone you work with allows you to skip a lot of the get-to-know-you phase -- you already know each other and like what you know. But once the relationship is established, the proximity that was a bonus may turn into a problem.

Set ground rules that will allow you to keep the relationship from turning into an extension of the office. Examples include no lunch dates or no talking about work over dinner. Make sure you spend time apart, hanging out with friends, doing what you did before love blossomed. That way, the time you spend together outside work is still special. Some couples can happily work and play together, others desire space. Figure out what you need and how to get it. When I knew my relationship with the chef was going to be serious, I quit my job to give us space to make it work. Waitressing was a stopgap for me; cooking was his career. You may not need to take a drastic step, but love and paperwork aren't always a perfect match. You can have both, but be prepared to do some juggling.

Read more:
• How strong is your sex life?
• Quiz: Would you be unfaithful?
• Is your partner too controlling?

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