8 solutions to make married life easier

During the long phase in the homestead you accomplish the essential work of your life. Here you create what lasts. But this involves work and effort, and every now and then the long road will feel too long for you. We've compiled here the typical complaints and with them, tips for better, happier ways to deal with these complaints - ways that are time-tested and ready to use. Simplifying your love means there's always a way. It's always worthwhile to struggle on. No one has to sacrifice themselves, no one has to give up. At the end of every struggle you will look back and be able to say, "Yep, it was hard. But it was worth it!"

Escape the nagging trap
The classic complaints from mothers are, "I feel left all alone with the children. Everything depends on me. My partner isn't around enough. He never asks how we're all doing - it doesn't interest him at all." The classical complaints of fathers: "I give it my all every day for her and the children, bring home the bacon for everyone, but that doesn't count. She just nags me. I never have time to do anything fun." More and more, the solution to the dilemma seems to be, "We'll separate and then we'll both be free." The serious disadvantage to this is that life is even more complicated by divorce. There have to be other solutions. Here are some:

• Translate the accusation. The woman's sigh, "You're away from home too much," corresponds to her inner feeling, "I'm too tied to this home." A study at Harvard University showed that feelings of overwork and discontent are especially severe for women who have no or little activity outside of the household. Working mothers with household duties are just as exhausted, but don't blame their partners for it as much. Women who work primarily from home are just as discontented as full-time housewives, because the home becomes a demanding space that she is more at the mercy of than the man and which she never escapes - women still do 80 per cent of the housework, even when both partners work full time!

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Excerpted from How to Simplify Your Love, copyright 2008 by Marion Küstenmacher and Werner Tiki Küstenmacher. Used by permission of McGraw-Hill Companies.

All Rights Reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced except with permission in writing from the publisher.