8 things no one ever tells you about being married

4. You can't love each other 100 per cent of the time.
"Remember, you do not love yourself 100 per cent of the time so do not expect to love your spouse 100 per cent of the time either. Seventy-five to 80 per cent will do."
-- Helen, 59, married 35 years

5. The better you know yourself, the stronger your marriage will be.
“Having married in my 40s for the first time I had the advantage of kissing a lot of frogs, so I learned to believe in the importance of myself, my own faith in myself, and that I did not need my husband – I wanted my husband. That was a belief that got us through some very difficult moments in our first 10 years together. We were good friends who understood there would be bad days and we believed we could love each other through them”
-- Cathy, 59, married 17 years

6. All you really need is two TVs.
"Have two TVs with two remotes, one for each. Learn the fine art of compromise."
-- Dave, 57 (Cathy's husband)

7. People stop questioning your loyalty to each other as a couple.
“People never tell you that you get taken more seriously as a couple when you're married, that your lives are perceived as being much more intertwined. For instance, if your girlfriend or boyfriend moves to another city and you follow him, your family and friends will very likely think you're crazy for living your life 'for' someone else, no matter how long you've been together. But when you're married that's not usually the case – you'll find everyone a lot more supportive.”
-- Raquelle, 30, married 2 years, together for 9 years

8. Both of you should know about the other’s money situation.
“We have always worked as a unit together, especially regarding finances. Both partners have to know everything concerning the money flow: it's not 'his money' or 'her money' – it's 'our money.'

"As for in-laws, I had wonderful in-laws, but one has to remember that they are the parents of your loved one and human beings also. Work with what you have – you have many years of in-laws. We change as we age in all areas of our lives, so be prepared for it, acknowledge it and go with the flow.

"As the song says, 'Love The One You’re With.' My husband comes first in my life before my children, family, friends, career or anything else. But if you never think 'I’ve had it with him/her and I’m outta here' during your marriage then I suspect you are just not human.”
-- Jane, 60, married 37 years

Read more:
• Train your partner to be perfect, just like you!
• 8 ways to divorce-proof your marriage
• 10 ways to make your love unforgettable
• Relationships and love: All about marriage

Page 2 of 2
_________________________________________________________________
It’s easy to subscribe to Canadian Living Magazine. Just click here to find out how much it costs and what you’ll get.