5. Plan ahead
From parenting philosophies to thoughts on money to prioritizing goals and dreams, marriage means making plans together -- and the earlier, the better. Financial planning, for instance, says Ramsay, "can often be a deal-breaker in a marriage." Don't assume that your partner knows how you feel about important issues -- sit down and discuss them before they have the chance to become a problem.
6. Fight with a purpose
Handling conflict constructively is key. Ramsay recommends a three-point plan for making sure fights have a positive outcome. First, she says, acknowledge that every couple faces arguments, and that they're "not an indication that the relationship is doomed." Second, she says, "each person should examine their own contribution to the conflict and be prepared to own up to it." Finally, she adds, both partners have to be able to spell out what upset them and how they would like the problem to be resolved. "By having this level of clarity," Ramsay says, "the couple is then in a position to talk about what happened in a focused way."
7. Make time for intimacy
"Sex is really the culmination of all of the little things that are done throughout the day," Ramsay says, "a reminder of how much you enjoy your spouse." So, the more, the better, right? Well, it's not so simple. What is important is that you are meeting each other's needs for intimacy -- which means they need to be articulated, as well (see 1, above). And intimacy doesn't necessarily mean sex, per se. "The broader the couple's physical repertoire, the better," says Ramsay. This means that everything from kisses to cuddles to shared glances is game.
8. Focus on the positive
Sometimes, all it takes to brighten someone's mood is an honest compliment from someone he or she loves. One consequence of being part of a deeply committed relationship is trusting your partner's opinion, whether it's a compliment or a put-down. Don't take this power for granted. So if you think your partner looks cute in her new dress, say so -- and if you're not crazy about the shoes, keep your mouth shut. It's all about the greater good, after all.
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