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8 ways to fight fair

Arguments are a given in pretty much any relationship. It's how you handle the conflict that counts.

By Laura Kloet

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1. Give yourself a time-out.
Before reacting, take a minute to reflect and gather your thoughts. If you feel yourself boiling over, step away. Take a walk or a run and process your thoughts before agreeing to talk them over with your friend.

2. Skip the insults.
They won't convince your sister to see your point of view. Instead, tell her how it made you feel, then give her a chance to express herself.

3. Be aware of your body language.
Eye rolls, clenched jaws and head shaking can speak as loudly as a verbal slight.

4. Stick to the dispute at hand.
By focusing on one issue you can spend your energy on listening to and understanding each other's perspective instead of getting defensive and bringing up past hurts.

5. Forget about keeping score.
It's not important who wins an argument; it's more important to focus on discussing why your husband thinks differently than you do.

6. Don't supersize it.
When you exaggerate the importance of one incident you lose clarity and direction. If you are always picking fights over little things, it will be hard to get people to listen when more significant issues arise.

7. Take responsibility for your anger.
Don't blame someone else for your short fuse. Pay attention to what sparks your anger. If you know you are more likely to blow when working under a tight deadline at the office, don't address trivial concerns with coworkers at that time.

8. Write it down.
Journalling is a great way to sort through your thoughts before confronting the person you are angry with. It's also a safe place to scream out your frustrations.

Read more:

The female brain: how it really works

Is he thinking about cheating?

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