Couples' sleep conflicts solved

The cocktail wienie (the rolling blanket bandit)
He's a hottie, all right. Too bad you're left out in the cold when your guy steals the blanket and wraps himself in it like a burrito. Meanwhile, your toes resemble frozen fish sticks. You need to think outside the box spring.

What to do
Head to the store, pronto, and splurge on a new, fluffy duvet. Get it monogrammed with the single word: His. He'll feel loved. And clever you will get the blankie all to yourself.

Bed habits
A recent poll conducted by the National Sleep Foundation in the United States found that about 26 per cent of adults lose sleep because of their partners' sleep habits.

Ménage à trois, quatre and more

Something's come between you and your mate. It's small and warm and wears a diaper. Sharing your bed with your little kids is healthy and natural, some experts say; others regard it as downright dangerous. The truth may lie somewhere in between.

Many families enjoy what is called the “family bed” well into their children's tweens. With my own infants, I know, it was bliss not to have to throw off the covers and pad down an icy corridor for a 3 a.m. feeding. Warm and cosy, we were all happy sharing the same bed through those long newborn nights.

As the kids got older, though, I couldn't stand the constant contact. I needed my own space at night. There's just something uniquely irritating about sharing a bed with a toddler who is stretched out sideways, his toes digging into my rib cage. For many parents, it's the romantic bliss, not the sleep they miss. Others say the family bed inspires them to get creative; they rev things up with private assignations in the den or on the floor beside the hot tub.

After hundreds of sleepless nights, we gradually cajoled our kids into their own beds. Thankfully they stay there. Most of the time.

Can separate beds save a marriage?
If your partner has sleep problems, you lose an average of 49 minutes of sleep a night. That's 300 hours a year -- the equivalent of a two-week holiday. No wonder almost a quarter of us head to separate beds.

I used to feel trapped when the noisy, cover-grabbing, pillow-thieving beast I call my true love started his nightly antics. So I set up a haven of my own in the basement. Whenever I can't sleep, I simply troop downstairs.

I've learned this may not be the best response. Some couples happily sleep apart for years, but others find the nightly separation divisive. Dr. Meir Kryger, director of the Sleep Disorder Centre at St. Boniface General Hospital Research Centre at the University of Manitoba in Winnipeg says: “I've found when couples are forced to sleep apart because of one partner's sleep problems, it often has a terrible effect on the relationship. It's a move of last resort; the partner whose sleep is disturbed feels there is no alternative, but both partners are often devastated by this action.”

It's best to solve the problem that's causing the trouble. Healthy sleep helps keep marriages healthy, too.