Heather says she put dating low on her list of priorities, a fact she was upfront about with her new beau. "I was very limited in when I could see him; I couldn't just drop everything and go out for drinks on any given night. I said, 'I can only see you every other Friday, or Tuesday nights.' I wasn't that flexible," she says now.
Today, she credits her choosiness with her finding a "quality man." Good things come to women – and men – who wait.
Post-divorce dating basics
The good news, Heather reports, is that dating after divorce can be incredibly liberating. "You can reinvent yourself with a stranger who doesn't know your past," she says, adding that even "hen nights" with girlfriends often ended up with everyone discussing her divorce. "On a date, I wasn't going to talk about my ex, or my kids – it was an escape, a chance to not worry about that other stuff."
Are you ready to get back into the game? Here are some tips for dating again after your divorce.
• Take it slow. Don't start your search for Husband Number Two right out of the gate. First concentrate on having a good time and feeling comfortable dating.
• Treat yourself. Eat well, exercise, get enough sleep. If you feel good, you'll be happy – a personality trait that's very attractive.
• Keep standards high – but realistic. Is he a player? Skip him. Does he meet your "Only 6' 2" and over may apply" rule? Maybe it's time to relax that rule – you may be missing out on a great guy.
• Separate your family life and dating life. Don't introduce your kids to your dates. They shouldn't meet your new man until you’re in a committed relationship.
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