How to avoid becoming Bridezilla

The treatment: Just let it go
The goal: To avoid resorting to childhood tactics of trying to hit her in the gut as she puts one hand on your forehead so that you can't get within striking range. Or the adult equivalent..."going bridal".

The application: This is one of the most challenging interventions between you and "going bridal". Self-discipline is essential in many potential "going bridal" situations, but often sisters require a high dosage.

"Just let it go" calls for great determination, aka tongue biting. So she thinks you chose to have your wedding in the rumpus room of your former roommate's parents' house to spite your own parents. If you know she couldn't be more wrong, who cares if that's what she thinks? You won't change her thinking. The only thing you can do in that situation is recognize that it is her problem and stay focused on all the good things in your life. Remember, you're the one planning to marry that man who loves you dearly, and you and he are going to have the kind of wedding you want.

Just let it go training ground
• Yoga class. Great for finding an inner place of calm.

• The boxing ring. Boxing offers a more physical outlet for your frustrations.

• The mantra. For example, you could try the always-popular "Will this matter in 50 years?" You might also consider the pithy "Just ignore her," repeated at five-minute intervals.

• Recalling your own successful choices and decisions. Perhaps planning to marry someone you truly love who truly loves you might enter into this pleasant reverie.

• Reminding yourself who you are. A ballplayer admitted telling himself as he walked into the batter's box amidst the jeers of the crowd, "I am a professional ballplayer. I am a professional ballplayer." (Of course you can substitute your own profession or accomplishment. "I do make fabulous macramé hangings. I do make fabulous macramé hangings," will work just as well.)

Reprinted from Going Bridal: How to Get Married Without Losing Your Mind (McGraw-Hill, 2004) by Li Robbins with permission of The McGraw-Hill Companies.