Other callers may concern themselves about neutrality on the part of the therapist. Indeed many styles of individual therapy do call for neutrality, and intervention is based upon passive reflecting of client issues.
Trained marital therapists, however, are rarely neutral. A trained marital therapist should be biased in favour of the integrity of your marriage lest they become the catalyst for its demise. Similarly, a trained marital therapist should have a stated opinion on matters of violence or abuse or infidelity and see these as serious issues to be addressed within the context of the marriage.
Marital therapy is one of the most intense venues for displaying emotion. A trained marital therapist should be comfortable with emotional intensity and be able to manage and structure the meeting to provide for the safety of the couple. Marital therapists can be highly directive or prescriptive. Couples entering marital therapy should expect the therapist to be active in the process and provide clear direction to improve the marital relationship.
If you are experiencing marital distress, don't treat all therapists alike. Look for a marital therapist who has had specific training, is comfortable with emotional intensity and will offer clear direction to help resolve identified problems. Lastly, be sure the marital therapist will respect the integrity of your marriage and work towards resolving problems as opposed to falling prey to your conflict or questioning your commitment or desire to remain married.
If in the process you decide to end your marriage, it should be a result of your decision, not the outcome of poor therapy. Poor therapy can hurt. Good therapy can help.
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Courts in Ontario, Canada have deemed Gary Direnfeld an expert on child development, parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a critique on a Section 112 (social work) report.
