c) They've been together so long it's getting a little, well, dull
Do you believe your sex drive will naturally decrease with age? Take heart. It's just a cultural myth, says Jeffers. "Science is proving that sex improves with age -- people in their 80s and 90s are still having sex." And what many lovebirds dread most -- routine -- can actually be perfect for getting in the mood (especially if it's been tailored over the years). If you successfully communicate what you like -- all the easier when you know what you like -- your routine can be practised and perfected, not humdrum. "Routine doesn't mean boring...it can become a ritual of love," says Jeffers.
d) Eve, to be honest, has always found things a little dull
If you most relate to option d), it sounds like you need to get creative. Jeffers suggests starting at your local sex shop.
Carlyle Jansen, owner and founder of Good for Her, a women's sex shop in Toronto, advises partners to come in together to see what sparks your mutual interest. What can you expect? Most couples who are new to sex shops choose something that can pleasure both partners, like a small vibrator, or the recent trend of vibrating cock rings. (How popular are they? Just check the condom aisle of your local drug store for Durex's new playthings). Or you could pick up some erotic reading material, and read to each other.
If this all seems a little embarrassing, you can always shop online (www.goodforher.com) or ask questions via e-mail. And if you're not too creative -- yet -- there are always workshops focusing on erotic massage or tantric sex to check out. The latter is popular with people who have been together for a while, says Jansen, because "it brings the spiritual and the emotional element together explicitly in the sexual experience."
If your sex life has been lifeless of late, take control with some of the suggestions listed above. Maybe then, you can proudly add option e) "they love apples!" as the choice that best represents you and your partner in the multiple-choice question. With a loving relationship, creativity, communication and the time to act on your desires, the passion in your relationship is sure to reach new heights.
How do ya like them apples?
