Am I angry at my partner? Sex therapist Laurie Betito says struggling couples usually wait about six years before seeking help for their relationship issues. When you start having the same argument over and over without resolution, it's time to get a pro involved so you can hear each other again.
Health perks of sex
Besides helping to build intimacy in a relationship, regular sex also boosts the immune system and enhances your mood while reducing stress, blood pressure, mild pain and muscle tension. "Sex," adds Betito, "can be the best solution to a headache!"
Sex after pregnancy
The first weeks and months following the birth of your bundle of joy can be overwhelming and exhausting. Between late-night feedings and constant diaper changes, sex is probably the last thing on a new mom's mind. Here's some advice from sex and relationships expert Josey Vogels.
1. Give yourself permission to take it slow. Some women are ready to return to an active sex life soon after childbirth – around the six-week mark – while others need more time. Realize that there is a difference between when you are physically able to have sex again, and when you feel emotionally ready and actually want to have sex. Don't be hard on yourself, and give yourself time to adjust to your new role as a mother.
2. Communicate your needs. If you're not feeling sexy, or you fear sex will be painful, tell your partner. Being patient, sensitive and open to what you are both saying and feeling will allow you to maintain a closeness that will eventually lead to renewed desire.
3. Nurture intimacy. Intimacy is much more than just sex. If you have just given birth, you might simply be looking for a physical connection that does not involve intercourse. Tell your partner this. Sharing a bath, cuddling or giving each other massages are good ways to nurture that connection until you're ready to have sex again. – Toni Petter
He's just not that into it
Men can experience a drought in their sex drive just like women. But the chances are they probably aren't keen to talk about it. Why? "There is this notion that all men are supposed to want sex all the time, but that isn't always true," says Josey Vogels, a sex and relationships expert.
Factors that contribute to a low libido for men include work stress, job loss, feelings of inadequacy and an emotional disconnection from their partner. As well, Vogels says a man may feel inadequate if his partner has sexual needs he isn't meeting.
There's no prescription for a man's lagging libido. Viagra will give your guy an erection, but that isn't the same as rekindling his desire for sex. So what can you do? Try to find out why he isn't interested in sex. But don't lay any blame or take it personally. "This can drive couples further apart," says Vogels. "Give your man space to find his desire and think about what might make him feel sexual." For example, entice him with compliments or intimacy (hugging and kissing) outside the bedroom, a massage, teasing or more foreplay. – Toni Petter
Page 4 of 4 -- Is your sex life normal? Find out from the experts on page 1.
