If Carrie and her Manhattan buddies are to be believed, all it takes is the right kind of man and the right style of Manolo to send female sexual desire skyrocketing.
Well, welcome to the real world, where menstrual cramps, maternity, migraines and menopause are part of the script. In other words, most of our lives comprise full-time families and jobs, mortgages, and relationships that struggle, leaving us both sleep- and sex-deprived.
Low desire is reportedly most often a female complaint and is by far the most reported female complaint in offices of those of us who are privileged to work in the field of couple sex therapy. Healthy minds and healthy bodies support good sex. Mutual, long-term committed relationships are the stuff that great sex is made of.
Care and feeding of the healthy vagina.
Read, ask questions and take responsibility for your own sexual well-being. Understand that we are wonderfully made and that female sexual disturbance can occur at any stage of the sexual response continuum of desire, arousal, orgasm and satisfaction.
Get thee to a good medical practitioner.
Don't settle for a drive-by consultation. Make a list and try to book at least 15 minutes to discuss your concerns about low desire, pain or bleeding during intercourse or vaginal discomfort of any kind.
Tell someone who cares!
If your doctor isn't up for the challenge, get a referral to someone who is trained to deal with sexual issues. Sexual functioning is an important part of being healthy, happy and human.
On my terms!
Free and freeing sex is about choice and willingness to relax and release. Intimate coercion is a major cause of inhibited sexual desire. Guilt, embarrassment and shame challenge competency, warmth and mutual nurturing. Negative feelings and a partner's resentment further inhibit desire
Obligation vs. choice.
If you are giving sex to get love, your currency is being devalued. Know that you are worthy of love and worthy to enjoy lovemaking as part of a mutual loving relationship. Choose to negotiate something better or choose better next time.
Discuss sexuality issues safely and anonymously in our forums.
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