Maintaining male mojo

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While occasional lack of sexual desire is normal for most men, I am increasingly seeing young men who have previously enjoyed great partner sex and are now choosing cuddling over coitus or even choosing to "fly" solo through self-pleasuring. So what's going on? What's causing once sexually interested and competent men to shrink and shirk? While healthy lifestyles must be a choice that men make for themselves, their partners can influence those choices in proactive ways for their mutual benefit.

Numbing the plumbing
Alcohol, food or drug use can sabotage more than your tennis game. Invite your partner into a physically fit lifestyle that supports great sex and be aware of the impacts of any medications he's on.

Be careful little eyes
Regular and extended consumption of porn actually kills rather than enhances the desire for real-time sex. It becomes easier to isolate and masturbate than to engage in the work of being in a real relationship with a real person.

Fear of failure
Performance anxiety results in few spontaneous erections or ultimate satisfaction for either of you. Good sex is about pleasure over performance. Talk is a four-letter word for good lovemaking. Apply liberally for lasting results!

Team trauma
Sex was arguably the original team sport. If you've got dissention in the ranks, whether through neglect or abuse, you can't expect satisfaction in the bedroom. Encourage your man to collaborate on making your private space a happier place to be.

Same old, same old…
Men in their 50s are reportedly having the best sex of any age group. So when men in their 30s report diminished desire, it's likely that the routines and not the vessel got old. Decide together about how to generate some oxytocin, the "cuddle" hormone, by being adventurous, creative and proactive in your lovemaking. Synchronize day planners and make regular times for intimacy.

Fail to plan -- plan to be parents
Children have the right to a welcoming, well-established environment in which to flourish. Fear of pregnancy can dampen more than one's spirits! Be responsible about timing so everyone can relax.

Sometimes it works and sometimes…
Encourage your man to get a medical checkup if your lovemaking is being stalled by erectile dysfunction, premature or delayed ejaculation, low testosterone or another medical condition. Talk about it, keeping the conversation curious and not critical. You both have a vested interest in keeping his engine running smoothly.

Read about why sex is good for you.

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