Romantic fraud: Has it happened to you?

This article was originally titled "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" in the February 2009 issue. Subscribe to Canadian Living today and never miss an issue!

Louise Gallagher of Calgary wasn’t even looking for a relationship. A 45-year-old partner in a corporate communications firm, she was a busy professional raising two teenage daughters when a charming, impeccably dressed man walked into her office and into her life. "Have we met before?" asked Louise, smiling and extending her hand to this potential new client. Locking eyes with hers, he gave a butter-smooth reply: "If we had met before, I’d never have let you go."

Louise didn't fall for the corny line. But he was compelling and magnetic nonetheless, and eventually she began a relationship with this man, who turned out to be a master of deception. Over the next four years Louise would be conned out of her home, her car, her job – the losses totaling $250,000 – and even her daughters.

At this point you are probably thinking, 'That could never happen to me'. You’re too sharp to fall prey to a man posing as a romantic partner to dupe you into sex, con you out of money or take pleasure in watching you flail helplessly in his elaborately spun web of lies – aren’t you?

In truth, we're all vulnerable to any manner of con.

The dangers of romantic fraud
Romantic fraud is most insidious because it breaches the most intimate kind of trust. Perpetrators are remorseless psychopaths who may fabricate an entirely fictitious persona, lying about their background, profession, income, health or marital status. They generally profess an all-consuming love for the ones they dupe that is entirely manufactured, leaving a trail of broken hearts and shattered lives.

"Women who are conned should not be condemned or criticized," says Robert Hare, professor emeritus at the University of British Columbia, a world expert in psychopathy and a consultant to the RCMP and the FBI. "Given the right circumstances, any one of us could be in the same situation." Here, three bright, articulate, attractive women share their stories of how their dream man

Divorced for five years, Louise Gallagher thought she was too savvy to fall for a pickup artist. But Peter (not his real name) was persistent. He sent a massive bouquet of flowers to Louise's office. He gave her a beautifully framed photograph of herself at a business function. He called her twice a day. Finally she agreed to meet him for dinner. Peter, co-owner of a company that made replicas of exotic cars, oozed charisma. "He kept telling me I was so talented, so perfect," Louise says. "I pushed my intuition aside because I wanted to believe someone thought I was amazing."

Within two weeks Peter proposed. "Whoa! I’m not prepared to do that!" she replied. That's when he told her about his life-threatening heart condition. Louise was skeptical, but over the next few weeks she noticed increasing "episodes" where he seemed to be short of breath. Then one day he called in a shaky voice to say he was in a California hospital on life support.

Page 1 of 5 - Read on for the rest of Louise's story