An aspiring actress, Eden (not her real name) was thrilled when she got a callback – from the director himself. James (not his real name) didn’t exactly offer her the role, but he invited her to come on set and watch a TV taping. "He was helpful and I thought it would be great for my career," she says. His constant attentions were at first flattering, then thrilling. "Things got intense very fast, moving at lightning speed, and I went along for the ride." Within months he asked her to marry him. She happily agreed and while she didn't have a ring, she considered herself engaged.
James called her at work or at home several times a day; she had only his office number, which he rarely answered. He met her relatives and friends, but she never met his. He said he lived with his traditional European parents, who hadn't accepted his imminent divorce and weren't ready to meet his new fiancée. He often went to her apartment but never stayed over; he always claimed to have an early call on set the next morning.
Eden dismissed any suspicions because she and James saw each other at least three or four times a week. He was always solicitous, charming and passionate. They took day trips together. He showered her with gifts and charmingly written love letters. He took her grocery shopping and insisted on paying. He treated her to meals at upscale restaurants and flew her across the country to meet him at a shoot. He spent time with her parents, promising them he would always look after their daughter.
Eden's instincts leave her questioning James
But by the second year of their relationship, Eden questioned why the divorce papers were taking so long. James blamed the lawyers. She wanted to meet his parents; he said it wasn't the right time. "He always had smooth, believable answers for everything," Eden says. "Although I questioned him, I wasn't overly suspicious because his passion for me was just so real."
When a coworker of Eden's recounted a story of another woman engaged to a similar man, her suspicions were heightened. She followed up on a suburban address her colleague gave her and saw James's car in the driveway. When she rang the doorbell, a woman answered. Eden asked for James. He came to the door, and his jaw dropped. Rushing her outside, he said desperately, "I’m sick! I didn’t know what I was doing!" Eden stormed off. Later, it was confirmed that he was not only still very much married but had at least one other "fiancée."
A 'house of cards'
Eden says, "His whole house of cards had come tumbling down, and I was the one who tumbled it." James showed up at her workplace, pushed her against the wall and threatened her against talking to his wife. Frightened, she hasn't spoken to him since. The experience, while eye-opening, hasn’t made Eden bitter against men. "I'm still open and trusting," she says, "but I keep attuned to gut feelings and I ask a lot more questions."
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