Couples then need to negotiate completion of tasks. This may mean separating ownership of chores and giving your partner the freedom to complete the chore minus the “helpful” suggestions.
But do not be fooled – learning to bite your tongue takes time and can be hard on your tongue! Along with negotiation comes compromise. If you request a task be completed in a certain manner from your partner, be open to accepting their suggestions for you.
Here are 5 tips to stop yourself from "training"
1. Recognize the little voice in your head which says “they are not doing it right.”
2. Shift youself from the need to power and control to cooperation and collaboration.
3. Do not lose sight of the big picture – there are more important things in your relationship than folding clothes the right way.
4. Focus more on the fact that your partner is willing to help instead of how they help.
5. Remember that too much training on your part may lead to you doing most of the work!
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Lea Tufford, M.A. is a registered marriage and family therapist who maintains a private practice in Georgetown, Ontario.
