6 ways to find time for romance

When life gets hectic, relationships are often first to move to the back burner in favour of tasks that are more pressing. "The city lifestyle these days is very tempting in the sense that there's always more you could do," explains Beth Mares, Toronto-based psychotherapist and marriage counsellor. "There's more money you could make, there are more things that you could drive your kids to and it forces you to prioritize."

Romance, after all, requires a certain amount of leisure, and when you're pulled in all directions, it can feel like there's not enough time. Mares outlines six tips to help you find the time to bring romance back into your relationship.

Set a schedule
There's nothing sexy or impulsive about scheduling "together time," but when spare moments are in short supply, there's not much choice in the matter. "Unless people are finding it easy and they have enough leisure time to be spontaneous, the only way you can get romantic is if you schedule it," says Mares. "Now that doesn't mean you have to have sex, because that kind of pressure can be stressful... but just spend time together," she suggests. Make this work for you by having a predetermined, reoccurring date, like a weekly movie night or monthly getaway, where romance is top priority – no excuses!

Factor in some fun
Let's face it, it's hard to be attracted to someone you now only see him or her elbow-deep in diapers or attached to their work BlackBerry. Hectic work schedules and the routine of running a household or family often precipitate a romantic slump. Discover a fun activity that you enjoy doing together and incorporate it into your routine, being sure to include sex. "One of those activities would hopefully be sex, which is not only fun but fulfills a physical need," says Mares. Of course, romance doesn't have to be only serious and sultry: any activity that gets you smiling and laughing together can be just as effective.

Forget your finances
Financial stress has a tendency to overshadow all other facets of life, including relationships, and many marriages deteriorate when a couple is more focused on paying down their mortgage than they are on bonding as a family. "Most people think that at some mythical time in the future, they're going to retire and finally enjoy their lives... and of course by that time, if they haven't maintained their relationship, they've fallen out of love or at least become quite distant," Mares says.


Page 1 of 2 – Discover how getting more sleep can help you feel more romantic on page 2.