We turned to Fran Praver, author of The New Science of Love: How Understanding Your Brain's Wiring Can Help Rekindle Your Relationship (Sourcebooks Casablanca, 2011), for her advice on keeping the romance alive after having a baby. "Now that baby makes three, things have changed. Pregnancy and the newborn baby have placed romance on the back burner," Praver says.
"Some of the romantic feelings you felt back then, triggered by love and lust-inducing brain chemicals, are on hold -- and it may seem like you can't bring them back, but you can." Here's her advice.
1. Practise patience
First things first: Don't panic. You may think that if you can't figure out how to balance being both new parents and a happy couple right away that your relationship will go downhill. But avoid putting pressure on yourselves, says Praver. "The first thing to consider is patience. There is no rush to bring romance back." Instead, make sure you're on the same page by being open and honest about how you feel. After all, bringing home a baby is a big change that needs an adjustment period -- so start slowly. "Begin by communicating your needs and feelings to each other," says Praver.
2. Take time-outs
Becoming parents may be life changing, but bringing a baby home doesn't mean you're no longer a couple. It's important to take some time (even if it's only a few minutes) to be alone together. "Set up several time-outs from the baby during the week when you and your partner can have privacy," Praver says. "This can be your special time to talk about anything other than the baby and to cuddle, hug and kiss."
If a friend or family member offers to baby-sit for an hour or two, take them up on it. This can be impromptu couple time together where you can escape to the living room to catch up on your favourite TV series on DVR or to the bedroom to take a nap together.
Page 1 of 2 -- Make time for intimacy and find four simple ways to reconnect with your partner on page 2
