If you are looking to rebuild your relationship after someone has strayed, there are a few strategies that can help with the process. We asked Iona Monk, a registered clinical counsellor, couples therapist and founder of Vancouver Couples Counselling, for some expert insight into what couples can do to work through and move past infidelity.
1. Understand that a break in trust doesn't necessarily mean it's over
When someone cheats, it creates a huge breach of trust in the relationship. The partner who has been cheated on can feel a sense of betrayal so strong it can make moving past infidelity seem insurmountable. But repairing your relationship is possible. "I've seen it happen many times. Not just survive, but thrive," Monk says.
However, she also notes that the likelihood a couple will be able to make it work depends on several factors, such as how well the couple communicates, the length of the affair and the depth of emotion involved. Both parties need to have a strong desire for the relationship to survive, and be committed to therapy if necessary.
2. Talk about what happened
It's extremely important to keep the lines of communication open following infidelity. The partner who has been cheated on usually has a lot of questions and wants to know the details of the affair. Although hearing about it can be extremely painful, that person needs to know all of the details, or at least the motivation behind the infidelity, in order to fully process what has happened, Monk explains.
"It is necessary for the partner who cheated to be cooperative, patient and understanding during this process, even if they are feeling frustrated with the repetition and explanations," she says. Getting everything out in the open is the only way to move forward. "It is imperative that there are no more secrets and no more lies. As long as no information is held back, there is a chance to move past infidelity," says the therapist.
Page 1 of 2 -- Discover small steps you can take to rebuild trust in your partner on page 2
