In fact, craving alone time is perfectly natural. With that in mind, we wanted to share some simple ways to find a healthy balance between spending time together and apart, and what to do if you and your partner have different needs for space.
To find out more about why couples need time apart and how best to cope when you feel like flying solo, we reached out to Tina B. Tessina (a.k.a. "Dr. Romance"), a licensed psychotherapist and author of several books on relationships, including Lovestyles: How to Celebrate Your Differences (Borgo Press, 1987).
The importance of alone time
Spending time solo and having interests and hobbies separate from your partner is important for both you and your relationship. Separation can refresh and re-energize your relationship, and it also gives you a chance to miss each other.
"When we're together, the things that are irritating tend to loom large, but when we're apart we begin to miss the good things we've been taking for granted," Tessina explains.
Me time versus we time
Craving alone time doesn't mean there's something wrong with your relationship, or that you no longer care about your partner. We're all born with a need to connect and be part of the group, as well as a need to be an individual, whether we're in a relationship or not.
"When we're together for too long, the boundaries of self tend to get fuzzy, and we need to be alone to get back to who we are," Tessina says, adding that women are more socially oriented and tend to focus on the people around them, often forgetting their own needs. But eventually the need for alone time will surface, and when that happens, just go with it.
"Whatever amount of closeness or distance is comfortable for you, even if it's different from your partner's preference, is OK," Tessina explains. "There is no right or wrong amount of personal space."
Page 1 of 2 -- Learn how to make personal space a respectful part of your relationship with tips on page 2
