• If you're flexible and willing to negotiate terms, good things happen
• When faced by overwhelming odds, it's OK to surrender, but only conditionally
• Arguing is fine; fighting is not
• Be unpredictable
• If she ain't happy, you ain't happy
• Show her respect – she's your wife
Be flexible
You're tired and overworked and you both have your needs as well as a typical assortment of deeply twisted personality quirks. Just remember that no matter what the latest, greatest expert on Oprah says, your needs are just as significant as anyone else's. That doesn't mean you can't miss one game in your favourite baseball team's 984-game schedule to spend an afternoon picnicking in the park. Your wife is likely to be a lot more reasonable when you ask her to put her half-hour diatribe about the deteriorating condition of Main Street on hold while you watch the ninth inning, if you can show her that ultimately, nothing is more important than being there for her.
Conditional surrender
You won't win all of your marital throw-downs. In fact, that shouldn't even be your goal. A good-natured argument, with liberal amounts of humour thrown in, can actually enhance your relationship and solve some simple problems. My own dear bride has an aversion to doing dishes that borders on the supernatural -- and I'm rarely in a hurry to scrub up after enjoying a tasty meal. So one day I laughingly told her that a glob of ketchup had attached itself to one of our plates on a molecular level and that I might have to commission a demolitions expert to help us remove it. After a few lovingly exchanged barbs, I agreed to handle most of the dishwashing chores the following day, on the condition that in the evening, she soak any plates and glasses that were likely to crust over. Domestic crisis averted.
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