Answers from Expert: Marion Goertz, DMin, RMFT

Yikes! If wallpapering a room together can cause rifts in a marriage, what do you suppose working with your spouse day in and day out can do? One of the secrets to having a great relationship and a successful, family-run business, is to leave some space for reflection, imagination and missing each other. It's difficult to be workmates and playmates all in the same 24-hour period, week in and week out. One without the other brings unhealthy imbalance and a certain loss of that lovin’ feelin’. The pheromones grow thin and the sense of humour combative. Lab animals start to attack each other when they are cooped up too close for too long. No doubt you’re both feeling somewhat caged! Don’t head for the door, but open a window and let some fresh and renewing air in. Creatively find some breathing space before one of you quits by default. I’m presuming that you have good childcare in place if you need it. Work out, together, some time for each of you to take regular mental health breaks: a few minutes a day, a few hours a week, a day or two a month. Block it out and post the schedule. Think back to a time that you had to be creative about finding time to be together...now figure out ways to have some time apart. The purposes are the same, to keep the relationship strong and the interactions loving. Get thee to a spa, a weekend away with the girls, a few hours at the gym or your favourite coffee shop with a good book. When’s the last time the two of you had an evening out or a time away together, while limiting the shop talk? Book something today! Regardless of what the budget can bear, you both need a change of scenery to appreciate what home has to offer. And if you can’t seem to do it for yourself or for each other, do it for your kids. You want to model for them a healthy, happy relationship that works and is fun to be in, as that’s what you want them to have when they’re old enough to choose for themselves. Write back and update us on your progress! Marion